


The Ones Who Leave Us

by TaurusRising



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-05-02 12:51:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19199194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaurusRising/pseuds/TaurusRising
Summary: Draco Malfoy reflects after returning home from the Battle of Hogwarts. Written in 2010 in an old marble notebook.





	The Ones Who Leave Us

Draco Malfoy walked into the courtyard of Malfoy Manor. Him and his parents had just gotten home after the battle at Hogwarts. It was getting light out, yet the birds hadn't started their song yet. He felt as though it would be strange to go straight back to his normal life. As if it would be somehow wrong to do so. Not knowing what else to do, he upturned his face to the sky and closed his eyes, letting the pure morning air cascade over him. Despite the dirt and dried blood on his face, for the first time in a long time, he felt clean. His soul was free and unburdened, if only for a moment. He stood there breathing deeply until he he remembered something that hurt him profoundly. He brought his head down, opened his eyes, and remembered that Severus Snape was dead.

Draco had always looked up to him and they had been close.  _He cared,_ Draco thought,  _He cared about what I had to say._ This meant a lot to the young boy. Severus and Draco were always laughing at everyone else. No one was immune to their cutting critiques. Draco smiled at the memories. Hours spent in Severus' office laughing with tears in his eyes at the acid remarks going back and forth between them about students, professors, everybody.  _He really enjoyed my company. That's more than I can say of my own father._ Draco was Severus' favorite student, and it goes without saying that Severus was Draco's favorite professor. Anyone could see that they were drawn to each other. No one ever questioned why. It was so natural. Severus was not one to grant special privileges or to be lenient in any way, but this all went out the window with Draco Malfoy. Draco never once served a detention with Severus, and there were more than a few instances when Draco would be absent from his classes to sit in silence with Severus as he graded papers or prepared ingredients. These instances became more frequent as the tension from the war built up, and Draco would find himself sometimes missing classes for days at a time, staring at Severus. They never spoke during these visits unless Draco initiated it. Sometimes he would, but mostly he sat in silent reverence of his favorite professor. Draco was the only one who received these rare tokens of humanity from Severus, and he knew the magnitude of their being given at all. He should have been grateful for these respites from the turmoil of the world outside, and he should have just appreciated the kindness shown to him and gone on his way, but every time Severus signed the letters excusing his absence from class with a long black quill, the flash of a delicate, sharp wrist carved in alabaster did not escape his notice.  _He swore on his life that he would protect me._ The last of his smile faded.  _I was so nasty to him,_ He felt a rush of fury at himself,  _And he still saved me! He never said one word against me._ Draco had always felt guilty about the way he had spoken to Severus when he offered his help. Now he would never get the chance to apologize, and he would never forgive himself. He wanted to say so many things to Severus. He wanted to say that he loved him. He wanted to say that he would never forgive Severus for dying. He wanted to say he was sorry for ever letting himself be pulled into the Dark Lord's circle. He was glad that Severus didn't give up on him and leave him to die. He was glad that Severus would not let himself be pushed away.  _He was the only one who ever cared,_ Draco thought, and that filled him with happiness. It enthralled him to know that Severus had, in his life, spent time thinking about him. 

Draco smiled again.

He stood in the courtyard, smiling through tears, surrounded by memories and thoughts. As if in a trance, he uttered,  _Expecto Patronum,_ and a great silver Patronus flowed from the tip of his wand. She pranced around and around the courtyard on graceful, slender legs. When she finally stopped, she looked back at him. Draco looked at his doe. As their eyes met, his vision blurred and she became a glowing silver cloud. She dissipated, as did Draco's fragile happiness. His tears fell silently as sorrow rushed in to take its place. A whole new wave of guilt and disgust at himself overwhelmed his mind. 

_I never even bothered to ask him what his Patronus was._


End file.
